Embers at 3am
by iceychills
Summary: Post Mockingjay, growing back together. This is my first story in such a long time. I was inspired after rereading The Hunger Games. Any feedback is welcome. All characters belong to the author Suzanne Collins.
1. Chapter 1

Peeta...

I can see her light on, she's probably sitting awake in the bedroom. Neither of us sleep well, I see it in the mornings when we share breakfast, the glazed eyes and dark circles. I ache to go to her but I know it's not fair to push. Haymitch said I should let her come to me. He also said it am a fool if I think "that girl" never loved me as I love her. But did she? Could she? What about Gale? He had saved my life but part of me hated him. Hated him for his hold of the girl I loved, hated him for his part in the creation of bombs which took away the one thing Katniss loved most in the world. Prim.

Hate was a strong word though, maybe resented was a better choice.

Prim had come to talk to me sometimes in the hospital in district 3. She said she wanted to help.

"Help? Why would you want to help me, I tried to kill your sister?"

"I want to help bring you back to her, she's so broken. She misses you."

For someone so young, she had an awful lot of insight. Maybe that happens when you lose a parent and your mother is absent. You make up for it in other ways to continue existing. What happens when you lose your whole family? I'm still figuring that out.

So we'd talk, about Katniss and her life before the games. Before I gave her the bread. Sometimes I'd ask questions and Prim gave me answers that conflicted with the images projected in my mind. Katniss ordering the bombings on District 12, Katniss ensuring I was tortured in the Capitol, kissing Gale, choosing Gale...

"Do you still want to hurt her?" Prim asked me one morning.

"Yes...no, I don't know. I'm so confused. I have all these memories of her killing the people I loved, leaving me to die, that she never cared about me, it was all a game and when I think of my family it hurts so much I want to tear her apart." I answered truthfully, too truthful.

Prim looked at me sadly. "Katniss loved our father so much, she would never want to see anyone lose their entire family."

I nod, I wanted it to be true, but I felt doubt. Where was she now? With Gale? Hating me? I felt tired, all of this was so exhausting. The games, the Capitol, torture, District 13, Katniss...

"I should go, I have to get back to work. You look tired anyway."

"Prim?" I say not sure what I even want to ask.

"Yeah?"

"Where is she?" I think I'm asking if she's with Gale.

"Where she always is, hiding, running, trying to survive."

"With Gale?"

"I don't think so, he's been busy working at tech services...She doesn't love him the same way she loves you, you know."

But I don't know. How does she even know? Katniss is so guarded.

Before I can ask what she means Delly walks into the room and Prim says her goodbyes.

"Does she sneak here every day?" Asks Delly.

"Most days," I respond, "I don't even know how she manages it, I get 2 visitors at most and you are one." Haymitch being the other. I was shackled though and there was no way to break free and hurt her.

My mind drifts back to the present as I see Katniss light go on downstairs. I decide to go down to the kitchen, get some water, put my light on. Maybe she will notice and come over. It's okay to hope, right? I smile at this, it's a little devious. I'm inviting her over but without the words will she accept. Probably not, she can be so stubborn. I'm going to have to work to push this along. This, whatever it is. Comfortable silences, eating meals together. Sharing the gossip regarding the rebuilding and repopulation of District 12.

I caught her laughing at me a few days ago as I chased Haymitch's geese up and down the Victor's Village whilst he lay in a heap on his porch. It was almost worth the chaffing of my prosthetic to see her smile again.

We always eat at my house. I guess hers is filled with memories of Prim. Even though they didn't live there that long the house remains unchanged, like a shrine. When she's ready I will help her clear it out. I've already started that task, packing away the memories of my parents and brothers. I didn't have a lot, they hadn't moved to the Victor's Village with me, instead choosing to remain in our family home above the bakery. Made sense since they rose early to start baking. I wish they hadn't, I wish they had moved here. They might have survived. Even my cold mother who sent me away to die in the games believing only Katniss would return.

I peer out of the kitchen window to see if she is still downstairs, she is. Damn it Katniss. She hadn't hugged me or touched more than my hand since I returned 3 months ago. I feel frustrated about this whole situation. Recently I had been talking to Dr. Aurelius over the telephone, a mandatory obligation of my treatment. A frequent discussion is of course Katniss and my feelings for her. I told him about a memory of the Quarter Quell where Katniss kissed me on the beach after I gave her the locket with the pictures of her mother, Prim and Gale. I remember she kissed me and it was so intense that I felt for the first time she was actually kissing me and nothing else mattered, not the games, not survival, the capitol or even Gale. She said she needed me, I hoped that was true because I still intended on being here for her. I'd held onto that memory during my treatment in the Capitol, I wanted to ask her about it but Dr. Aurelius had advised not to right now. Katniss was healing too and it had only been 7 months since Prim had died.

Before I returned, Plutarch had offered me a job as a TV chef for some new live cooking show he was planning for day time television. I had laughed and declined as politely as possible. The last thing I wanted was to remain in the Capitol or to be on TV. He had told me to remind Katniss of his new singing show and he would love if she would make an appearance and sing. Yeah I could see that happening, Katniss was more likely to put an arrow through Plutarch's thick neck at the suggestion.

I'm starting to get anxious. Its clear she's not going to come over to my house and I certainly can't spend another moment overthinking things. I grab my coat and pull on some shoes then walk across the gardens to her house. I knock gently, hoping I won't startle her. I know this could go badly and it's against better advice but I can't wait any longer. All these thoughts are invading my mind such as if she loves, no, could love me. Or if she's waiting for Gale to come back for her. Or maybe she's just too sad to ever love again and I'm destined to live this life of solitude across the path from the girl I love. I know I won't ever love anyone else, what I said on the beach is true. There is no life for me, not since the day I was reaped alongside the girl that I had watched for so long, who made me almost shy and nervous. Some would argue that I am good with people, confident in most situations however when it comes to Katniss I am an insecure fool who hangs on her every move.

I knock again and open the door, "Katniss?" I call softly. She's sitting by the fire, stoking the embers.

"Hey," she says as she looks up at me, her eyes are red and I can see tear stains on her cheeks.

"Hi," I feel sheepish now, maybe this was a mistake.

"I couldn't sleep so I left the light on, then I must have been so exhausted I drifted off and I had a dream about Finnick and his screams woke me." She rushed this sentence as though justifying why she was here at 3am.

"I never sleep much these days either. I keep hoping the dreams will pass but sometimes the dreams are preferable to the flashbacks." Katniss moves to sit on the sofa, she stares blankly at the fire. "I just wanted to know if you were okay because I saw the light on downstairs. I'll see you in the morning, goodnight Katniss." I turn to leave.

"Don't go." Her voice is quiet, almost pleading and my heart aches. She looks at me, and scoots over so that there's a spot beside her. I take my place next to her and we both stare into the embers, the silence is deafening.

"Do you remember on the train, when I would have nightmares and wake screaming? You would be there to hold me?" She breaks the silence with a question that surprises me.

"I remember, sometimes it's mixed up with other capitol made memories. But I remember feeling at peace, warm and comforted."

Katniss pushes her hair out of her face, strands of hair have come loose from her braid. I want to reach out and touch it, I don't.

"Do you think if we hadn't been reaped, you would ever have talked to me?" The question surprises me. She's never fully acknowledged my long time crush. She asked me once during the first games and I had told her about the first time I heard her sing at school. I was a goner from that day.

"I might have, there were several times I came close. After the bread I wanted to ask if you were okay, but your permanent scowl scared me off." I grinned and she punched me lightly on the shoulder.

"I never had time to think about myself, I was always thinking about keeping my family alive. At school I really only knew Madge and Gale…Gale was older so we didn't spend much time together in school." She looked sad when she spoke of Gale. That bastard. I felt angry again that he had left her, left her here alone and sad and mourning. I wasn't sure what to say but she started talking again anyway.

"I didn't notice…boys, I resigned myself to always looking out for my family. I never wanted children because how could you bring vulnerable and innocent little kids into a world of starvation and reapings? It made me angry. When my dad died I locked away some of the parts of me that could love because it was painful, all I had was my love for Prim and my need for survival to make sure she lived."

"And Gale?" Damn, it was out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

She looked at me as though surprised I asked the question but there was a hint of a smile on her lips as she answered. "Gale and I both lost our fathers. We both had a family to support, we had anger towards the Capitol and the injustices of being born into unfortunate circumstances. He could trap and I could shoot. We made a pretty good team. He made it easier to live without my father."

I understood this, her mother had gone into a deep depression leaving Katniss with no one. Gale was there struggling to survive his own fathers death and support his mother, brothers and sister.

"Do you miss him?" I really can't stop with these awkward questions.

"I miss the Gale and Katniss from before the reaping, yes. But the Gale now is a stranger to me. I can't think about the role he played in…her death."

I put my arm around her instinctively and draw her close to my chest as I sit back. At my surprise she doesn't resist.

"My dad used to take me into the woods to teach me to hunt, track and shoot. We hid bows around the forest and he taught me how to listen for the low thrum of the electricity before going through the fence…Dr. Aurelius and I have been talking about grief and survival. He says that sometimes people try to form new attachments to replace the old ones. At least that's what I gather because he was rambling on about attachment theory and I lost him somewhere. Anyway I think what he meant is that for me, Gale was there to fill the void that my father left."

"So what you are saying, is that Gale was like your father, but you kissed him. Isn't that weird?" I grin, teasing her.

"What?! No! I meant that he filled a void, the other stuff was confusing. I wanted to feel something, be normal not forced as part of a TV show." She's defensive now. I sigh. I have made a mistake but she's not moving or running off. She's perfectly still, almost relaxed against my chest.

"I know Katniss, I'm joking." There's a long silence and I decide to speak again. Seems this is a night for sharing. "There was this one day at school, you were sitting with your friend Madge. You were laughing. Your face lit up as she showed you something. I started walking towards your table, I had this speech in my head. It was stupid, I barely remember it now, It involved saying hi and introducing myself and asking if you wanted to walk home together. As I approached though you stormed off rather abruptly."

Katniss shifted her weight to get comfortable. It felt nice having her pressed against my chest again.

"Seems I'm always scowling or storming off."

"Yes it does seem to be your thing." She smiles at this and then closes her eyes. I love the way her eyelashes flutter. She doesn't realise the effect she has on people. On me.

We stay there by the fire in silence and eventually I feel Katniss breathing fall into a regular pattern as she lets out soft breaths that signal she's sleeping peacefully. I use this opportunity to stroke her hair and close my own eyes, drifting off into the most dreamless sleep I have had in months.


	2. Chapter 2

Katniss...

I wake up rested against Peeta's chest. It could almost be one of those mornings in the training

centre where we would wake in each other's arms. Except it's not and the reality is that I am here

And she is not. The one person I wanted most in this world to survive. The reason I volunteered as

Tribute.

Lately I had wondered if there had been a point to volunteering at all. Was she still destined to die?

Had I just prolonged her life for her to suffer a death, which was perhaps worse than any she would

experience in the arena? Or maybe being blown up was a quick death. I hated these thoughts,

sometimes I felt like they would consume me. Dr. Aurelius tells me that I'm working through the

stages of grief. Well I wish I could reach the final stage because I'm tired of feeling empty and

questioning everything in my head. What if, what if, what if.

That's not entirely true, if I'm honest I stopped feeling empty the moment I left the house and Peeta

was planting evening primrose in my garden. We hadn't talked in months and the first thing he

does when he returns is honor Prim. Still thinking of me when I don't deserve him. I checked out

like my mother for months and didn't think to see if he was okay. I pushed him away after he was

rescued from the Capitol.

He's drooling slightly and he looks serene. It's cute, I let myself think. I reach up and wipe the

corner of his mouth and he stirs. His neck is going to hurt when he wakes because he's tilted it

back too far.

"Good morning," he says sleepily.

"Morning."

I should move and let him up, but I just want this moment to last a little longer. I forgot how it felt to

wake in Peeta's strong arms. It's been so long and I have missed it.

"Have you been awake for long?" He asks.

"Not really." I want to think of more to say but I have nothing.

"That's the first in a long time where I haven't dreamed." I had to agree, even when exhausted my

mind still projects the nightmares of the past few years into my head. It even throws in my father for

good measure.

I can tell he's grinning as he says, "We should sleep together more often."

"You shouldn't say things like that to girls as 'pure' as me." I retort, this spun me back to a

conversation during the Quell where Peeta said the other tributes were teasing me because I was so pure.

"You can't be that pure when you have had a man in your bed, several times in fact." He's still

grinning, mocking me no doubt.

"I don't recall a 'man', there was a boy though." I instantly aim to take a stab at his masculinity.

"Ouch." He's no longer smug about his comments. I get up off the sofa and I think he looks

disappointed. I should shower, I'm suddenly aware of him staring at me. In a way that makes me

feel exposed. I leave the room without another word.

After I shower I go back downstairs, Peeta has gone. I felt disappointed by this but I also felt I

knew the reason why. In the past when we woke in the mornings I often felt something hard

pressed against my leg. I know this is a natural reaction for males in the morning so I didn't

question it. I just waited for Peeta to casually readjust himself and eventually make his excuses to

go shower.

'Pure', I don't know why it bothered me so much. I had never thought of myself as a sexual being, I had to attend sex education as part of health class in school. We were taught that you must be responsible as birth control was hard to come by. Since I don't plan on ever being a parent and I've never had sex to miss it, I figure I will be just fine.

Implications, expectations. What's to become of this quiet comfortable pattern Peeta and I are

falling into. I remember thinking once when he said I could have a life after the games that I could

go back to District 12, marry Gale and have kids. But it didn't feel right, my heart ached with the

possibility that I might return without Peeta. He should be the only one of us to have a life after all

this mess, he will make an excellent father, warm and nurturing.

No. These thoughts would do no good. All I can think about now is that Peeta will one day leave

me for another. I would remain here unchanged and probably start smelling like Haymitch. It's not

fair for me to hold him here and deny him a chance at a family, at happiness.

But yet the thought of us becoming more than solace for one another excites me, I get butterflies. Katniss Everdeen, girlfriend? Lover? No, I won't give any false hope, not for him. I braid my hair and head over to Peeta's for breakfast.

I catch Buttercup from the corner of my eye sunning himself among he primroses. He's looking much better than he did the night I dug out the thorns from his paws and cleaned his wounds.

In Peeta's kitchen I can already smell the bread in the oven. I can hear the water running upstairs. I set the table and pour myself a glass of water then seated myself at the table to wait on him. My mind drifted to hunting, I don't feel like going today. The woods feel empty without Gale. Like at any moment he will turn up to check the traps and point out wild turkeys. But that won't happen ever again. I had considered asking Peeta to join me, but his clumsy footsteps alert the game and that was even before he had a prosthetic leg.

Gale...probably in District 2, kissing another girl. I found that this did not bother me any longer. When Madge used to talk about Gale it bothered me. I realise now it was not jealousy. It was possessiveness. I didn't want any one to take away the one thing that had helped me get by. I felt relieved now, that I could feel what I wanted and Gale could move on to whomever he was moving on with. But what do I feel? I know there's something there for Peeta. Is it love? It's all mixed with hurt and loss. I don't get to ponder this any longer because he's at the door staring at me, wearing only a towel around his waist. I'm looking at his bare shoulders and chest and my eyes are drifting down to his abdomen.

"Sorry, I didn't think you were here yet and I needed to get the bread from the oven before it burns," he interrupts my gaze. I feel my cheeks flush.

"I'll get the bread," I say looking for an excuse to turn away.

"I'll go get dressed." He disappears up the stairs and I find my heart is pumping in my chest. What the hell is wrong with me? I remove the bread from the oven and leave it to cool by the window.

We have warm toast with cheese for breakfast and then spend the rest of the day working on the memory book. I find this therapeutic. It's a place to keep those we love and whom we have known alive.

After dinner we feed Buttercup scraps and debate which one of us should go check on Haymitch. Peeta relents and takes a plate of leftover food over to Haymitch and I settle myself on his couch. Its dusk and I'm starting to dread the moment I will have to go home and be alone.

When Peeta returns I'm lying across the sofa with my eyes closed and Buttercup is laying on my stomach. I lazily stroke him.

"Well this is new, I thought you hated each other?"

"We have an alliance now. I feel like he's watching over me…for her." I lean forward so that he can sit down and I rest my head on his lap. He strokes my hair once then stops. I don't object, I think he takes this as a sign as its okay to continue and he smoothes strands of my hair. I can actually appreciate these moments. Not like before when they were probably projected onto millions of TV screens, showcasing the star crossed lovers of District 12.

"Peeta, I don't want to be alone tonight," I blurt out. I don't know why I said it, I didn't fully expect him to turn me away, maybe I assume too much.

"Okay," he replies, "But Katniss, can we sleep in a bed tonight because my neck was aching so bad this morning."

I grin, I knew it would be but he had left before I could ask. "Yes, a bed would be nice."

And this is how it began, night after night of him holding me as I drifted off to sleep. Comforting me when the screaming began and I awoke to a sheen of sweat and terror. He brought me back night after night. Sometimes I would return the favor. When I felt him his muscles tense and he gripped his pillow or the sheets, some awful flashback would take him away from me. I would whisper to him about the here and now, how he was with me and he would never have to go back to the Capitol where they beat and tortured him. That it had all been lies, that I needed him.

On one particular night where Peeta seemed to be in a daze, I held him and talked about random things such as Delly and how I had seen her mooning over Thom, Gale's old work friend from the mines. Nothing seemed to be working, not even reminding him that the games were over and we were here back in District 12, together. I started to panic, what if he didn't come out of this. I don't know what to do. "Peeta?" I begged, "Please come back to me, it's okay, you are safe, with me at home. Peeta? Peeta…" Nothing, no response. "Peeta I hate this, I don't know what to do." I'm starting to sound desperate. I shake him a little then hold his head close to my chest. "I love you," I whisper. I remain there for the rest of the night holding him for what feels like hours. Eventually dawn starts to approach, I haven't slept. Just held him whilst staring at the ceiling. He stirs and adjusts his position.

"Katniss? What time is it?"

"Dawn sometime. I'm not sure. You have been out of it for hours." I feel relief flood my body.

"I'm sorry…I haven't had that happen in a long time. Since I was in the Capitol."

"You scared me, I thought you wouldn't come back."

"I'll always come back…for you," he adds. I hold him tighter and close my eyes. There would be no hunting today. I didn't want him to leave me and I was also exhausted. Peeta sat up, leaving my arms. I was partially glad because I the circulation could now return to my left arm, which had been numb for a while. He walked towards the bathroom and I took the opportunity to fix the sheets and adjust the pillows. I got back into bed and when he returned he climbed in beside me. This time I relaxed against his chest, aching for that familiarity. Feeling that I could now sleep I closed my eyes. I suddenly remembered whispering to Peeta that I loved him. Had he heard me? He hadn't answered if he had. I felt embarrassed. I decided not to bring it up, if he had heard he could be the one to address it.

Peeta ran his finger tracing patterns up and down my arm. It felt ticklish but also nice. I let out a sigh and he stopped. "Don't stop," I say, yearning for his touch again. He continues to trace the patterns up and down my arm. We stay like this for a while and eventually he says, "Go to sleep Katniss, I will be here when you wake." I drift off contented, though there's a strange feeling in my abdomen. I can't quite place it, though its not unpleasant.

I awake in the afternoon. Peeta is still there with his arms around me, he's reading a book.

"Afternoon, sleepy," he says.

"How long did I sleep for?" I ask.

"Around 6 hours. I showered, changed and read a book and you didn't stir once. You did mumble in your sleep though."

"What did I say?" I am stricken, the last thing I remember was that feeling in my abdomen. Had I no self control?

"Something about the woods and not to eat the plants."

I relax at this. I was so used to keeping things to myself that the thought of my vulnerability during sleep concerned me, I'd need to keep a check on my thoughts from now on.

The rest of the day we spent in the kitchen. Peeta taught me how to make fruit loaf and chocolate cupcakes. These were a luxury that we could never afford the ingredients for in District 12 before the war. He promised he would teach me to bake cookies. I had seen these sweet treats once on the train to the games. I hoped there would be chocolate, I loved chocolate. He showed me how to mix different colours of frosting, mine never worked out like his though. He made beautiful shades of red, green and orange. Mine came out a sickly grey colour. This seemed to entertain him.

"It's okay Katniss, only one of us needs to be good at baking. You stick to your entrails."

In spite of my scowl, I laugh.


	3. Chapter 3

Peeta...

I walk through town with Delly chatting about her brother and the new home they had been allocated. Delly has been my friend since childhood. I have great respect for her and I am thankful she helped me through some of the harder times in District 13, after the hijacking. Especially when she was still grieving for her own parents. Her dad used to bring Delly to our house and we would play while he drank scotch and played a game called dominoes with my father. We would play games of hide n seek, or pretend the floor was water infested with deadly creatures to entertain ourselves. On days when we were feeling particularly brave and thought my mother wouldn't notice, we would sneak into the bakery and eat frosting until we felt sick. We had no concept of rationing or value; we just wanted a sweet treat. I smiled at this memory.

"What?" Asked Delly.

"Do you remember when we used to sneak into the bakery and eat the frosting with our fingers til we felt sick?"

Delly lit up at this, "Yes! I always wondered how your mother never found us out."

"I think my father covered for us." I frown, my father. As passive and caring as he was, he was never truly happy in his marriage. Always trying to hide things from my mother so she wouldn't get angry and lash out. I may never know what made her that way. At least I know my father loved me. Us, my brothers and I, in his own way.

"How is Katniss?" Asks Delly, interrupting my thoughts.

"She's doing okay, I've been teaching her to bake."

"Just bake?" There's a hint of teasing in her voice.

"Yes Delly, just bake."

"Because there's a certain rumour going around that someone no longer sleeps at her house at night."

"There is? I cannot confirm or deny these rumours. But better not let Katniss here or I'm back to where I started."

Delly laughs at this then suddenly serious says, "You know Peeta, you are still a teenager. You should both be out of that house doing things people our age do."

"Most people out age haven't been through two shots at the hunger games and a war, plus a hijacking, post traumatic stress and depression." I answer rather harshly.

"I know but how do you ever expect to get past these terrible things and help Katniss move on if you don't start living life amongst people again and doing things that regular couples do."

"We're not even a couple, just two people trying to make things easier getting by together."

"I know Katniss would never say, she's not your typical girl. But maybe she needs reminding that she's a woman and you are a man...that sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud but I think you know what I mean."

"What do you suggest?"

"I don't know, be romantic. Make it spontaneous. Surprise her."

I thought this over. Spontaneity, isn't that what I did the night I went to her house at 3am. It had worked. We were now back to our safe routine of comforting one another.

"What if she runs off or worse, rejects me and goes back to avoiding me. I'm trying to be patient."

"Patience only gets you so far. Besides, personally speaking, I don't think you have to worry about Katniss going anywhere…oh there's Thom…"

I vaguely remember Katniss telling me something, no whispering about Delly and Thom. Someone was mooning? The memory is vague. I wave and call Thom over and Delly turns a deep shade of what can only be described as puce. Guess it was Delly who was mooning, this could be fun.

"Thom, have you met Delly?"

"Not formally," he shakes her hand and she glares at me through her blonde curls. She could almost be related to me.

"Delly and I were just talking about things to do now that we are back in District 12. You should join Katniss and I for dinner sometime, and you too of course Delly." I add, she looks so awkward now. I almost feel bad. I know that with Gale gone and I haven't seen Bristel around, Thom might be looking for company like the rest of us.

"That sounds good, I might have to take you up on that offer."

"Delly was also saying that you have been doing a great job clearing the ruins and organising the reconstruction."

"I...thanks," Thom beamed at Delly. "I'm just trying to do my bit, find my place back here. I figured since the mines are closed I would try construction. There's talk of some farms being set up and expansion beyond the fence. If construction doesn't work out I was thinking I would try that next."

Thom and I talk for a while longer, he tells me that they are accepting registrations for new businesses in the rebuilt mayors office. He takes care to mention that there are no bakers registered so far. I had been considering this for a while now, taking over the family business in District 12. I love to bake and frost cakes and I'm not sure what else I would do for a living. At the current time we still receive Victor's funds from the Capitol, but with all the changes in the government who's to say that will continue. I know I can't rely on it forever, not that I want to anyway. I'd need to think of a way to provide for Katniss and I in the future. Now there's something I never thought in a million years I would be thinking.

I thank Thom and tell him I will get in touch with him to make arrangements for dinner. Delly and I walk further into town, she's talking about how interesting Thom's work is but all I am thinking about now is getting back to Katniss. I pick up ingredients and say goodbye to Delly.

On the way through the newly rebuilt town square I decide to go into the mayors office and ask for the registration documents for work. A female clerk, aged around fifty, grins at me as I ask for the paper work.

"Peeta Mellark," she says, "I had wondered if you might show up here or in a fancy job in the Capitol"

"No, no. District 12 is where the heart is." Literally, I think. I smile at her and she hands the documents over. I decide not to think about it any longer and sit in the waiting room to complete the forms. I carefully write out my intentions for bringing business into District 12. The rest of the form asks about finance information and capitol. I have some savings from the games. I have nothing left over from my parents. There were no banks in District 12; everything was kept within the home. I think I should have enough to start up, however there's a form at the bank involving Capitol grants for those contributing to the regrowth of the districts and economy. I decide it's probably safer to complete this and remind myself to read up on about financial matters, maybe there's someone who can advise me.

I return home to find Haymitch sitting on my porch, he smells stale.

"You should take a bath," I say, sitting down on the steps beside him.

"I had a bath, the geese tripped me up and I landed in my liquor."

"I can tell. Have you eaten?"

"Katniss left me breakfast before she went hunting. How's the town looking?"

"Good, I registered for the bakery."

"Good on you kid, good on you." Haymitch takes a swig from a clear jar. I wish he would stop drinking, but how do you convince someone to stop when they have lost everyone they love. I know Haymitch's drinking is just to get him through the days and nights. I wish I could do something for him.

"Do you know much about businesses? Economy and grants?" I ask.

Turns out, Haymitch is quite knowledgeable, having played a few card games with businessmen in the Capitol.

I can see Katniss heading towards us in the distance.

"Alright, I can see that lovesick look creeping up on you. I'll be off. Be sure to leave some dinner for me later."

As Katniss approaches he calls, "He's all yours sweetheart." And at that he heads back into his house and the door shuts with a bang.

"What's up with him?" she asks.

"He said he wanted to sleep til dinner," I lie, not quite wanting to tell her he accused me of looking lovesick. "How was the hunt?"

"Terrible, there are people there now. Also trying to hunt. Scaring off my game."

"I see how that could be a problem," I grin and nod, indicating at her game bag which appears to be bursting at the seam.

"Well I have been doing it longer." She smiles, she's so beautiful when she's relaxed and on her own terms after hunting.

"Delly asked after you and I got the ingredients for cookies." I tell her. She sits and cleans the games on the bottom of the steps and I regale her with the account of Delly and Thom and inviting them for dinner. I casually add that I registered for a job at the end of this.

"You did? Peeta that's great! I don't think anyone else would be worthy of the task. Especially if they taste your cheese buns." The compliment pleases me.

"Have you thought about it?"

"About what?" she asks whilst skinning a rabbit.

"Getting a job? Or what you want to do with your future?"

"I don't know." She goes quiet and I am at a loss for what to say next.

"I always feared the future. I've never thought about having a job. I've only ever hunted for food and I could never imagine working in an office. I'm not good with medicine or healing like…my mother."

"Maybe you can raise geese with Haymitch."

This makes her grin and she flicks something red and fleshy at me.

"I find it amusing that you hate blood, pus and guts from humans, but you are happy to sit there and gut animals. Maybe you should register as the District 12 butcher."

"Not likely, I'd rather raise the geese."

"You could work with me."

"Burning bread and scaring off your customers?" her tone is light.

"We can work on your poor customer relations, besides you can be quite lovely when you want to be."

She turns slightly and dips her head. I have caught her doing this on more than one occasion when I compliment her. It's brief, but I like this slightly shy version of Katniss.

"I won't be winning any contests." She says.

Later Greasy Sae makes us dinner and takes the rest of the game home. She even delivers a plate to Haymitch.

We decide not to work on the memory book and instead I sketch Katniss as she plays with Buttercup and a ball of yarn by the fire.

I'm already yawning when we head upstairs to bed. Neither of us goes without the other in tow, not even to wait. Katniss gets ready for bed in the bathroom and I use the bedroom. I relieve myself of my prosthetic and climb in between the blankets and sheets. When Katniss emerges from the bathroom she's wearing a thin nightgown and her hair is loose. I try to distract myself by looking out the window at the dark sky. She climbs into the bed and assumes her usual position, lying against my chest. I put my arms around her and hold her close. We both drift off without a word.

I'm half sleeping, half awake when I feel Katniss thrashing around, screaming my name. Within seconds I am fully alert, grabbing her arms to her sides and trying to break her from the dream. She's gasping for breath and there are tears on her face. She looks petrified.

"Katniss, Katniss, it's okay, I'm here," I soothe.

"Peeta? I dreamt you were dead, I'd lost you." She chokes back sobs and presses her face into my chest.

"No, I'm here."

Katniss runs her hands over my face, like she doesn't believe me.

"I left you in the arena and they killed you." She began to cry again, hiccoughing into my shirt.

"Shhhh no, its okay. I'm here." I kiss her forehead and stroke her arm, holding her tighter. She squirms and I release her, she turns her face to mine.

"It felt so real, I couldn't stand it if you died Peeta." She looks so defeated right now.

"I'm not going anywhere," I say. And I kiss her. Slowly at first, then she pushes into me and the kisses become more desperate. Its heated and I want more. She's lying on top of me, her hands have moved to my arms and she's gripping my biceps almost holding me down. Does she realise I have no intention of moving? I run my hands down to the small of her back and she whimpers. She releases her hold on my arms and pulls away gasping for breath.

"Katniss?"

"I'm sorry. I..." But before she can cast any doubt over what just happened I bring her lips back to mine and we resume the hot kisses that I have been craving for so long. Like the kiss on the beach of the Quarter Quell or that kiss in the Capitol before the bomb…

We stay like this for what feels like hours, kissing. No talking, just our lips clashing. I think my brothers once said this was called 'making out'. I don't care what it's called. I intend on savouring every moment.

Katniss eventually breaks away, "Peeta, my lips are dry and I need to get some water." I grin and release her.

When she returns to bed to my disappointment she does not resume the kissing. She lies beside me and strokes my hair and traces her fingers over my shoulder and down my arm. I am unbelievably aroused but I don't want to draw attention to that so I lie facing her on my side with my good leg bent slightly forward. We stare at each other, neither of us sure what to say.

"What are you thinking about?" She asks.

I'm not sure I should tell her what I'm really thinking. "About you."

"What about me?"

"That I could kiss you every day for the rest of my life and never tire of it"

She smiles but there's something different about it, her pupils seem larger and her head is tilted.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask hoping it's an answer that involves us kissing some more.

"Nothing," She says this in a way that implies that she is absolutely not thinking about nothing and there's something on her mind. Once again Katniss Everdeen you have me hooked.

There is more kissing after that, just gentle kisses and holding each other til the early hours of dawn when we are so exhausted we fall asleep again.


	4. Chapter 4

Katniss...

It's been weeks since Peeta's lips found mine in the night. And every night since. Sometimes when he kisses me I feel like I might physically ignite and burst into flames.

I close my eyes and sit back to bask in the sunlight. I'm sitting by the lake with my toes dipped in the cool water. I wanted to be alone this morning.

I dreamt of Prim last night, I woke feeling guilty as though I was betraying her in some way by not thinking of her as often. It's been ten months. The ache in my heart is still there, like a large gaping hole I may never be able to fill. I don't want to fill it either. Each day sometimes feels easier especially when I distract myself by helping Peeta plan his bakery or spend time with him in general.

Peeta and I made a promise to live our lives well to honor those in our memory book. As much as I intend on keeping that promise there are parts of me that feel guilt over Prim. That she won't get to grow up and fall in love, become a doctor, have kids, be happy. I should have died and she should have lived. Dr. Aurelius calls this survivor's guilt, regardless I fully believe it's the reality of how things should have been.

I weep silently for a while, large tears falling while I think of Prim playing with Buttercup, milking Lady to make cheese, telling me that I shouldn't give up on Peeta, that Buttercup and I should keep each other company. My sister, always knowing what I needed. I miss her so much.

Peeta was busy all day and I felt slightly lost. He had been accepted for the job as baker and given full control of organizing and furnishing his new premises. Some people had come from the Capitol to support the new businesses around town, teaching the owners additional skills.

As part of the new government regime, each citizen of Panem is entitled to claim a small allowance for food and clothing. This would only be temporary as everyone is expected to get a job eventually and contribute to the regrowth of society. What type of job would a fragmented, depressed ex-victor get in District 12? I think of raising geese with Haymitch and laugh to myself. I pull my socks and boots back on, wipe my tears and decide to head into town and see how Peeta is getting on.

Outside the new bakery, aptly named 'Mellark's Bakery', I find Delly sitting on a box scribbling notes down on some paper.

"Hi Delly," I say, sitting beside her.

"Hey Katniss, you are missing all the fun here. By fun I mean I am sitting here watching these men do all the work. How was your hunting?"

"I didn't do any hunting today." I reply, noticeably my game bag is empty. I hadn't thought about it when I left the lake, I was thinking of getting back to Peeta. I suddenly hear a shrill laugh coming from inside. A girl with fair hair emerges in a pretty silk dress; she looks a few years older than I am. She is petite and her hair is swept up in some elaborate style. I can already tell she's from the Capitol yet her look is slightly more demure than the usual fashions there. Peeta is with her laughing too.

"Who's that I ask?"

"Oh her name is Sascha, she's here to help people set up their business by giving financial advice and recommending the best purchase prices."

I don't like how she is leaning towards Peeta, her hand lingering near his shoulder. She's close to his proximity and he makes no move to back away.

"Katniss, you look like you are about to put an arrow through her throat." Delly interrupts my glaring.

"Well I was considering it."

"Katniss! Hey!" Peeta calls, walking down towards Delly and I. He stops in front of me and there's a slight awkwardness like he would have hugged me had this been within the confines of our home.

"Hi." I respond, still looking at the harpy in the silk dress.

"Katniss, this is Sascha. She's been a great help in sourcing suppliers for the bakery."

Sascha eyes me as though sizing me up. I can tell she's quite confident and there is no doubt in my mind she is interested in my fellow victor.

"The girl on fire. You looked fantastic in the parades. Cinna really did some amazing work on you. I'd love to see some of the work you both did together." She says, referring to the lie that I had taken up designing during the time between the 74th and 75th Hunger games.

"He was a talent and an amazing friend," I state flatly. I have no interest in engaging her in further conversation.

As if sensing this she turns her attention back to Peeta.

"Well Peeta, it was wonderful to talk to you. I'd love to accept your invitation to dinner sometime. Just let me know when." She squeezes his arm and heads further into town, her ridiculous heels clippety clopping all the way.

"Geez Katniss, couldn't you be nicer?" asks Peeta when she is out of earshot.

"Maybe, it was hard to find the words through the disgust of her practically mounting your leg."

Delly looks away biting her lip. She's either embarrassed or about to laugh. I'm about to get up and do my usual storming off but I decide not to. I don't know why.

"She was just being friendly." He's grinning though and it pisses me off.

"If that's what you call it. What do you think Delly? Was Sascha as friendly to you?"

"Well Sascha didn't actually acknowledge that I was here once."

"That's not helping Delly," Peeta chides her.

"Well let me know when Sascha is coming for dinner, I will be sure to make myself scarce so sure you two have plenty of time to get acquainted." I realize this is unfair, but I am mad. Mad that I can't be that girl who loves Peeta or shows him and doesn't care who sees it. This time I do storm off. I hear him calling my name but I ignore him.

When I arrive at the Victor's Village I go straight to Haymitch's. He's sitting on his armchair, swirling a glass of brown stuff. He looks at me and sighs.

"What have you gone and done now?"

"Nothing. Why do you always assume I have done something wrong?"

"It's written all over your face and if I have learned anything about you and that boy its that whenever there's drama, it's usually something to do with you."

I scowl, mostly because he is right.

"I'm sure he could care less, he's been busy acquainting himself with some Capitol harpy."

He laughs manically at this and his drink spills down his front.

"Sweetheart, if there were 500 naked girls running up and down the Victor's Village trying to entice Peeta Mellark, they would have to prise him from your iron grip to get anywhere."

"It's a good thing there's not. I don't think I have 500 arrows to hand." I sneer.

"Ahhh, girl has a sense of humor. Listen sweetheart, you and I are 2 sides of the same coin, uncommunicative, abrasive and stubborn. I'm older, wiser and had more years to be this way, you are still young and have a whole life of love and mistakes to make."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Stop closing yourself off. If you love the boy, love him. Don't give a flying fuck about anything or anyone else. There are no cameras here, no ones watching you, in fact most people here in District 12 are more concerned about getting back to living life than watching you two do whatever it is you are doing."

"I don't think he should be with me." Saying this out loud fills me with sudden relief.

"Why the hell not? After everything, after him going through hell and coming back here to you when there is nothing left for him here, just ghosts."

"He's the better one of the three of us. He should be happy, with a girl who isn't abrasive, uncommunicative and stubborn. He should have the chance to have a family."

"And you think that's your decision to make? Peeta is old enough to make his own choices. I'm sure if you told him you wanted to pack up and leave tomorrow he would be waiting by the station first thing."

I think this over while Haymitch drinks and falls asleep. Maybe it is wrong of me to make decisions for Peeta. Should I ask him about these things? Are we more than just friends, comfort for one another? The only time I feel I can ask such questions is in the dead of night when we lie in bed hoping sleep will take us before the flashbacks or dreams catch up.

Haymitch's snoring starts to irritate me and I decide I should probably leave. I suddenly don't know where to go. If I go home to my own house, I am being dramatic. If I go to Peeta's he will likely want to talk. I decide I should probably start acting like an adult if I am expected to be one. I'm already living alone, well without parents. I suppose I should accept responsibility for my actions too.

I'm at Peeta's door when I smell cooking. I'm suddenly hit by how hungry I am, I hadn't eaten since breakfast. Peeta is the kitchen, he is slicing a joint of meat and there are cheese rolls on the table.

"Can I help?" I ask, hoping he isn't mad at me.

"You can pour us some drinks." He says not looking up.

I decide to make honey tea and busy myself boiling the water. The silence is killing me. I expected something from him, a lecture, yelling, anything.

We sit and eat in silence. Fine, I can't stand it any longer.

"Say something." I demand.

"What would you like me to say?" he asks.

"Something, anything."

"Katniss I am not sure what you want me to say, you stormed off and disappeared. You ignored me when I called for you."

I sigh. I don't know what to say, I get up to clean my plate. I'm not good at this, in fact when it comes to feelings I am positively awful at understanding and processing them.

Peeta comes up behind me and I feel his arms slip around my waist. I feel relief that he's not mad and I lean back against him, he puts his head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry," I say, "I'm not good at this."

"At what? Being jealous?" He asks, I can hear that he's smiling as he says it.

"I am not jealous." I deny but I'm lying. This uneasy feeling in my stomach indicates otherwise.

"Then what?"

I turn around to face him, suddenly nervous. I reach for the back of his head and pull his mouth towards mine and I kiss him. He seems surprised at first, not reacting initially then he pulls me closer and we are locked in a heated embrace with the kitchen surface pressing into my back, I don't care enough to move.

We only break apart when the door swings open and Haymitch sweeps in asking for dinner.

I flush, embarrassed by the interruption.

Haymitch cackles, "Interrupting something am I?"

"No, let me get you a plate." Peeta responds, I stand there not quite sure if I should be annoyed at Haymitch for interrupting or Peeta for saying that he wasn't. I turn around to wash my hands just for something to do.

Peeta sits with Haymitch and talks about the bakery. I feed Buttercup left over scraps whilst sitting on the kitchen floor not really paying attention to their conversation. Instead I think about all the times I considered eating Buttercup and now here we are. I rub Buttercup's belly as he rolls over and stretches. I've come to love this stupid cat, It's one of the only things I have left tying Prim to my world. Except my mother, but she's gone. I tried to resent her for this but after the strained relationship we had before the games, I find it a relief that she, like Gale has gone. Now I only have to look out for myself. And Peeta. And Haymitch. I look at them both, this is my family now. Peeta, Haymitch and Buttercup.

Buttercup grows bored of me and goes off to hunt. I stand up and dust off my pants and decide to bathe. I don't bother to interrupt Peeta and Haymitch. I head upstairs and turn the water on, shedding my clothes and filling the bath with water and some sweet smelling liquid Effie sent me. I lay there and soak, staring at the ceiling. The water has started to turn cold when I hear the door downstairs shut, Haymitch must have left. I get out of the bath and dry myself then decide to apply some aloe cream. Effie sent this too with a note saying it would help soothe my skin, I assume she meant from the burns. You can't soothe scars though, I think as I smooth the cream over my body.

When I leave the bathroom the bedroom is still empty and I can hear Peeta rattling dishes downstairs. I search for something clean to wear to bed but can't find a thing. Every few days I go back to my house and grab a few things to change into here at Peeta's, I guess I have forgotten to do this lately. I find fresh underwear and raid Peeta's drawers for a t-shirt. I find one that seems long enough but it barely covers my thighs. I'll be covered by sheets anyway I think, and I slip into Peeta's bed.

When he enters the room a few moments later, I suddenly remember that I was mad at him...or was it Haymitch…So I face the opposite direction and close my eyes. I know he won't think I'm sleeping, considering the restless nights we often have. I hear him undress and then he climbs in beside me. He puts the light out and lies perfectly still. I wonder how long this will last considering my earlier demand after dinner. I decide I can hold out longer this time and resolve myself to staring into the dark.

A few moments pass and I readjust my position in the bed, partly because I was not comfortable and the other to see if I get a reaction.

Peeta does not say a word or move closer to hold me in his arms. I'm suddenly overwhelmed by how much I need those arms around me, how I feel comforted by his touch. By how safe they...no he, makes me feel.

But my stubbornness takes control and I lie there trying to relax my breathing as Dr. Aurelius had talked about.


	5. Chapter 5

Peeta…

I don't know why neither of us is talking. It feels like she is a million miles from me on the other end of the bed.

Seeing Katniss act jealous earlier was such a thrill. It takes a lot to break down her walls and figure out her feelings. Lately I feel I'm getting somewhere between the kisses and the domesticity as Delly calls it. I have no idea why she's distancing herself right now, I'm afraid to ask. She was the one who kissed me after dinner, it surprised me. She only ever kisses me in the dead of night. Though I've started to think that's because when we leave the room in the morning she can leave the kisses and the possibilities there and outside they don't exist.

Fuck this. I can't lie here all night wondering what is going on. "Katniss?" I whisper, there's no real need to whisper but I play along with her pretense that she's asleep.

She turns to face me, "What Peeta?"

"Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad."

"The fact you are practically lying next door and ignoring me implies otherwise."

"Well you didn't seem to care earlier when you spent the rest of the evening with Haymitch."

Is she feeling rejected? I didn't know how to react earlier, or how Katniss would react if I drew attention to our kissing. So I played the part of polite host. And I couldn't very well send Haymitch away, not when he so rarely actively seeks a meal with company.

"I was being polite, would you have preferred if I said we were busy kissing and he should leave?"

"No...but you acted like he didn't interrupt."

"So I should have said 'Yes Haymitch you are interrupting, Katniss is currently trying to put her tongue down my throat.' I'm not sure he would want to know that."

"I did not...there was no tongue!'

"Not yet," I grin at her. I love teasing Katniss.

She rolls her eyes and I hold my arms out to invite her into our usual embrace. At first she hesitates then rolls over into me. She smells so good and her skin is soft.

"How was your day?" I ask, hoping to ease us back to better terms.

"Okay...I didn't hunt, I spent time by the lake. I was thinking about Prim."

If she was thinking about Prim then that usually means she has been crying. I suddenly feel bad for not asking during dinner.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"For what?"

"Not being there."

"That's not your fault."

"I've never seen a lake other than in the games."

"I'll take you sometime," I hope she means it. I'd love to spend the day with Katniss by the lake. The only time we have ever had anything close to a date was on the roof of the training building before the Quarter Quell.

"I'd like that." I reply and because I can't help myself I add, "Maybe we can invite Sascha." I immediately feel Katniss body go rigid.

"Well if you want to spend time with her, you can damn well do it someplace that isn't mine." She spits out.

"Relax Katniss," I say as I press my lips to her hair, "I only want to spend time with you."

"Then why did you bring her up."

"Because it makes you mad and it's one of the only times I have ever seen you react jealously. And it's endearing." It means you care, I want to add.

She's silent for a few moments as if considering this, then she asks, "Why do you love me?" I know she isn't seeking reassurance from this question. She wants the truth.

"Because," I begin, "When you love, you love fiercely. When your walls are down and you let yourself feel it's beautiful Katniss. When you sing the birds stop to listen, you're brave and you captivate me."

"You could find someone else, someone that all this is easier with."

"Why would I want easy, I've waited for this…for you for years...You felt something for me on the beach, real or not real?"

"Real." I love these moments of honesty. I could live here forever in the dark with Katniss telling me all her secrets. She's tracing patterns over my hands which are holding her to my chest, it feels nice.

"At the Quell I told you there's no life for me back here without you, every day at school I'd look forward to seeing you, even if I couldn't talk to you. I then went from wishing I could talk to you to facing my inevitable death alongside you. Then you saved me. How could I go home and never acknowledge my feelings again, I only loved you more after those games."

"But I ignored you." She states matter of factly.

"You did, and I spent months trying to forget you. Hating Gale for being the one you chose to be with. But I couldn't forget you, part of me hoped you would come around and at least be my friend, eventually."

"I feel awful about it," she admits, "I was afraid."

"Of?" I ask, urging her to go on.

"Losing Gale, I knew he loved me. I didn't feel the same way but I tried to see if I could feel that way because I didn't want to hurt or disappoint him. I didn't know I couldn't lose you too then. Not until President Snow threatened our lives. You were then on my mind along with our families and Haymitch. I feel bad about the way I treated you upon our return."

It's true, she had asked me to run away with her before the Quarter Quell. I had been willing to go. I would go anywhere she asked me without question.

"During the Games I would sometimes think of Gale watching us back here on the screens and it somehow made things…us, seem less real. It wasn't real for me then though, not in the first arena… All I could think about was keeping myself alive, then you and then I kept thinking what would Haymitch want for the cameras. Things became confusing in the cave. We were kissing once and I remember wanting more but you stopped us. You said we had to go"

This pleases me. She had wanted more, I was already under Katniss Everdeen's skin before I even realised.

"Then I regret interrupting us," I say as I kiss her cheek.

"What were you thinking, on the beach when I kissed you?"

This memory I have reclaimed in spite of the Capitol trying to convince my brain otherwise. Katniss telling me that she needed me.

"I was thinking that if I died after that, It would have been worth it."

"That's not funny." She smiles.

"I was thinking that if we made it, if we got through the games somehow. I might actually have a chance with you. I knew the odds were against us but I still hoped." I stroke her hair. How many nights have I been awake thinking of moments like this. Too many, sometimes I cant believe this is real.

"Peeta? Do you want children?" She asks awkwardly.

"Are you asking or offering?"

"Shut up, answer the question seriously."

"I would, someday…"

"I don't." I'm not surprised by this. Besides who's to say she won't change her mind. I can live without children in my future as long as she's with me.

"That's okay too." I reply.

"It's not though. You deserve a future with a girl who makes you happy, wants to have your children."

"Katniss, have you not been paying attention to a thing I have said. Without you there is no happiness. I can live without everything else as long as I'm with you. We're done with this, I don't want to hear it anymore. I'm yours, take me or leave me." This girl drives me crazy, what do I have to do to convince her.

"You say that now but what about in five, maybe ten years from now."

"I still won't care as long as I have you to come home to."

"You're crazy."

"I am." I nuzzle her hair.

Katniss moves away from me and I try to pull her back, she resists and kneels facing me. I notice for the first time that she is wearing my shirt, it only just covers her thighs. I feel that familiar fire begin in my abdomen. She really does drive me crazy.

"Katniss, is that my shirt?"

"It is, I didn't have anything clean left over here."

"It's okay," I grin, "It looks better on you."

She looks at me shyly, then leans over and kisses me.

"I guess I'm stuck with you Peeta Mellark." She says, leaning back again.

"I can think of worse things," I say as I reach for her and pull her down towards me, my lips searching for hers. We kiss for a while, softly at first and then with fervor. I feel bold tonight so I let my hands wander down her back and rest on her hips. I like how she feels against my body, the soft pressure as she lies against my chest. I find my mind wandering, what would it be like to have her straddle me. Have her grip me within her strong thighs. I can feel my body reacting to this, I should probably stop thinking so much.

Katniss runs her hand down my chest and it lingers by the hem of my t-shirt. Suddenly she pushes the shirt up and starts running her fingers up and over my belly onto my chest, then she draws invisible patterns. I feel her finger graze my nipple and then she touches them, feeling the shape and tracing her fingers over them. I sigh, my nipples are hard and my body is betraying me. I can feel my cock strain in my pants. I break away from our kisses and pant out "Katniss, what are you doing to me?"

"Feeling your body." She states as if it's obvious and I'm clearly an idiot.

"No I got that, it's just...are you sure?" I am an idiot. Who questions a beautiful woman when she's touching you? No man for sure.

"Shut up Peeta and just kiss me." We resume our desperate kisses and she continues to trace the patterns on my body. Katniss shifts her position and suddenly brings her thigh up and over my lower half. It's resting on my crotch and I feel slightly embarrassed that she now knows the state she has me in.

I want to kiss her neck and feel her skin beneath my fingertips but I'm afraid she might pull away, not ready for that contact yet. I'm busy weighing up whether its worth it or not when Katniss suddenly starts moving her leg rubbing into my erection. If she keeps this up I'm going to explode.

Is she teasing me to see how I react? My hands are still on her hips, I'm filled with drunken lust now so I let my hands wander up towards her breasts and gently feel them through the fabric of 'my' T-shirt. Its not enough though so I slide one hand like she did, down towards the hem of the shirt and slip my hand up slowly running my fingers up to her breasts. I knead them gently, her nipples become hard under my fingertips. I would love to put one between my lips. I've never done this before, I've kissed girls during games in the past and sometimes when I took matters into my own hands I imagined this, with Katniss or my teacher Ms. Domna. But that was before I was reaped. My head has been full of Katniss since the 74th games. I don't want to push my luck and I don't want this moment to end.

I squeeze her nipple gently and she sighs inwardly. Her breathing has quickened and I can feel the heat intensify between our bodies. She has stopped moving her thigh and I ache to be touched there. I push my hips forward instinctively, pressing my erection into her thigh. Katniss breaks away from my mouth and is short of breath like she had just ran for miles. My hand is still cupping a bare breast.

She looks down at my hand and smiles shyly, "How do you feel?" She asks.

"Frustrated," I answer, removing my hand from her breast. I should probably go take care of this in the bathroom. Instead Katniss lies on her side facing me. "I'm sorry," she apologises but the smile on her face indicates otherwise.

"It's okay, I should probably go take care of this." I say. I plan to move but I linger in the hope she might help me out.

I close my eyes then I feel Katniss lips against my ear as she whispers, "touch yourself."

My eyes open wide, did I hear her correctly?

"What?"

"I want you to take care of it...I want to watch."

I'm competently taken aback, I was not expecting this but then hadn't I lingered with purpose? Though I hope I wasn't completely obvious.

Katniss leans into me and kisses my ear and down my neck then takes my hand and places it gently over my crotch. This girl will be the end of me.

I'm suddenly too nervous to do anything, her hand is still over mine though and she's now moving my hand up and down the bulge in my pants. A moan escapes my lips and she whispers again to show her. I can't stand holding back anymore so I lift my hips and slide my shorts down. My cock springs free of it's confines and Katniss lets out a little gasp. I wonder if she's ever seen one before, other than the diagrams at school. I don't think Katniss has ever been intimate with anyone. I force myself to think of something else before I start to consider what she got up to in the woods. I take her hand and clasp her fingers around my hard dick. I show her how I like it, slowly pumping the base of the cock, teasing the head. Precum has leaked over our fingers, I take my hand away and she uses the Precum to lubricate her hand and slides it up and down. I don't know how long I can hold back but before I can warn her I cum all over my belly. Katniss strokes me for a while longer and I lay back completely relaxed still trying to make sense of what just happened.


	6. Chapter 6

Katniss...

Peeta lies there exposed, his face a mix of contentment and confusion. He also looks sleepy. I slip out of bed to go to the bathroom, wash my hands and then return with some tissue to wipe the liquid from his belly. I had been caught in the moment, curiosity and desire taking over. I hadn't expected him to take my hand. I had enjoyed hearing his soft moans as I stroked him. I was gentle, following his lead.

I lay back down beside Peeta, resting my head on the hollow of his neck. "Peeta?"

"Mmm?" He mumbles back, eyelids fluttering open.

I look down indicating at his shorts which are still halfway down his legs.

"Oh," he flushes as he adjusts and pulls them back up. I kiss his cheek, he doesn't have to be embarrassed, that's usually my role. The 'pure' one.

"Go to sleep." I tell him.

"You don't want..." He trails off, looking at me intently. I think I know what he wants but I'm not ready for any further intimacy, although the damp feeling and the throbbing in between my legs indicates otherwise.

"Not tonight." I answer. In all honesty the thought of letting go of my control and allowing Peeta to touch me or us having sex makes me nervous. It felt nice when he was touching my breasts. I actually wanted to giggle a little, he was very enthusiastic. Sometimes it's hard to remember that we are still two teenagers and if circumstances had been different we would have dated which may have led to us exploring each other's bodies in time. But we are certainly not like typical lovers.

Peeta hasn't said a word since I answered. He's staring at the ceiling. I stroke his chest and wait for him to say something. I have a feeling he's not going straight to sleep.

"Not tonight but some other night?" He looks at me hopeful yet teasing.

I swat his chest, "Don't push your luck Mellark and don't overthink it, you might go crazy."

He grins, "You already drive me crazy."

"Go to sleep." I say again.

Peeta shuts his eyes and holds me closer to him as he drifts off.

I can't seem to shut my mind off from thinking of everything that's happened to Peeta and I recently. How I keep betraying my thoughts that he should be with someone else. I don't want him to be with anyone else but me. I want Peeta always. I remembered whispering that I loved him when he last had a serious episode. Did I mean it? What is love? I think of how my father loved my mother, committed, selfless and passionate. She loved him wholly to the point when he died she couldn't find a way to go on. In a way I resented her for not loving Prim and I as much as she loved out father or honouring his legacy by ensuring we were cared for. Instead she almost let us starve to death.

I don't want to be like her. I want to be like my father who could express his love in so many ways. I doubt I can ever be, but I can try. For Peeta. I hug him tighter and he stirs but does not wake. I press my lips to his neck and then feel sleep take over me.

In the morning I wake up, the sunlight streaming through the gaps in the curtains. I groan and throw an arm over my face, blocking it from my eyes.

"Good morning Katniss," says Peeta as he tickles my face with the end of my braid. Talking signifies it's time to wake up, I'm not ready for talking. As if sensing this Peeta starts planting light kisses on my neck. I grin and a deep sigh escapes my lips.

He pulls away and says, "I had a dream last night, though I'm about 95 percent sure I wasn't dreaming at all."

"And what happened in this dream?" I tease, knowing full well what he is referring to.

"You were helping me out with a problem."

"I was? And what kind of problem was that?"

He looks unsure. I realise he's too shy to say the words. And again, I'm the 'pure' one?

"That I asked you to masturbate?" The words come out in a whisper.

He nods his head, his eyes are searching my face. I don't know what he wants me to say.

"Then I guess it wasn't a dream." I say. I'm not used to this type of conversation in the daylight.

Peeta relaxes beside me, seems neither of us are ready to move.

"Did you like it?" I ask, if he says no I'll probably be humiliated.

"I don't think I have ever enjoyed it so much in my life." He grins. His smile is infectious because I feel a smile creep across my lips. "Play your cards right and I may help you out again." I tease.

"Now?" He asks hopefully. I laugh and he looks dejected. I lean forward and kiss him, he can take care of this one himself I think as I feel his arousal press jot my thigh. "Enjoy your shower I say as i get up to feed Buttercup and leave him to it.

"Aw Katniss don't leave me hanging!" He calls as I head downstairs. I stop on the last step and reconsider. No, It wouldn't kill him to wait until tonight. I smile to myself and head to the kitchen, my head full of thoughts of what he was doing upstairs.

After feeding Buttercup and leaving him a saucer of milk I throw on yesterday's pants and head to my own house. I pack a weeks worth of clean clothes in a bag then decide to take a shower here. My mind wanders to Peeta across the gardens, I wonder if he's in his own shower now. Taking care of his morning problem, thinking about last night. I feel my body react to the thought of Peeta's muscles tensing under the hot stream of the shower. I change the water to a cooler temperature and try and focus on something else. Once again I didn't feel like going hunting today, I seem to be having more days like this when the empty forest seems daunting than the welcoming place I used to escape to.

After my shower I dress and dry my hair with towel. I look out the window to see Peeta feeding Haymitch's geese with leftover seed. I braid my hair and grab my bag then head down to see him.

"I wondered where you went." He says.

"I needed clean clothes and decided to shower."

He nods his head indicating towards my bag. "You should really just bring all of your things to our house." Our house.

"Are you presuming I intend to stay?" I reply, trying to make my face unreadable.

"Well I presume you aren't going to Haymitch's...I just thought it would make things easier, plus we practically live together now as it is." His face is serious now. I drop the bag and grab a handful of seed from his bag. I busy myself with feeding the geese and eventually say, "Well I was planning on moving in with Haymitch." In truth I'm slightly unnerved, he just asked me to move in with him permanently.

He chuckles at this and throws the rest of the seed into the pen and then before I can stop him he grabs me by the waist and lifts me up over his shoulder like a sack of flour. He grabs the bag in his other hand and starts walking back to his house. I'm struggling, trying to get him to release me but I'm also laughing, it's a strange sound. Carefree and hearty.

"Peeta! Put me down!" I demand. I can't break free, he's too strong, even with one leg. He laughs at me. "Katniss I don't intend on letting you go anywhere or even to stay with another man. Now I've got you, I'm keeping you."

Haymitch appears at his window, yells something about getting a room and slams his window shut.

When we get to the door, I open it and Peeta puts me down in the hallway. A sudden feeling of warmth comes over me and I pull him into an embrace. I just wanted to feel him close to me. We linger for a short time then break free when the buzzer for the oven goes off. Bread must be ready.

We have bread and butter for breakfast along with some jam that Greasy Sae made from strawberries I found in the forest. Since I spent so much time at Peeta's these days she rarely stopped by to cook for us, figuring I would probably actually eat meals now without her supervision.

I had certainly filled out in the last six months.

"Are you going hunting today?" Peeta asks.

"No I thought I would go tomorrow."

"You used to go every day." This sounds like a question.

"It feels empty without Gale." I answer honestly.

"I see." Is all he says. Though there's not much to say, he can't fill the role of my hunting partner and he's already more than my best friend.

"I thought I would stay home today, teach you to bake cookies." He interrupts the silence, I don't believe he intended on staying home but the gesture is sweet nonetheless.

"Don't you have work to do?"

"The fitting of the equipment is done and the place stinks of paint. I'll leave it to air out and avoid the headache. The stock arrives in the next couple of days so there's not a lot to be done til then."

"Then let's make cookies. There better be chocolate." I say.

"Katniss if you had your way we would eat nothing but chocolate."

"It's your fault, you introduced me to dipping bread into hot chocolate on the train!"

Peeta shows me how to mix cookie dough from flour, eggs, baking soda, butter and sugar. We add a few more ingredients and then the chocolate chips. Peeta confiscates the bowl with the chips in it from me because I keep eating them. Peeta shows me how to drop large spoonfuls of dough onto a tray in order for them to bake and become cookies. He puts them in the oven and I use my fingers to eat left over dough.

"Hey, leave some for me."

I continue to lick my fingers, Peeta tries to snatch the bowl but I pull it away laughing. I scrape another finger through the cookie dough and this time I rub it on Peeta's nose. "Hey!" He exclaims, "I could have eaten that."

I respond by pulling his shirt towards me and licking the dough from his nose. His lips soon find mine and we spend the next twelve minutes kissing only breaking apart because the cookies were ready. I want to eat one now but Peeta says they have to cool first.

A strange thought enters into my mind, this is the first time I have felt relaxed and...happy. In longer than I can remember. I know what Dr. Aurelius would say, it's progress. I'm scared though that the debilitating depression will return and I will go back to that dead feeling where there were no good days and I could see nothing in my future. I guess I should address that on our next telephone call.

The next day I do go hunting. I shoot some squirrels and I'm surprised I manage to shoot a small buck. My mouth waters at the thought of venison steak. I don't want to drag it the whole way back so I skin and cut the best parts and leave the rest to the wild.

Last night Peeta and I had gone to bed early, I had suspected he hoped more would happen than sleep but he had an episode and it took time to pass, then when we drifted off I had a nightmare rousing us both from sleep again. After that we just held one another and closed our eyes hoping the resting would suffice.

I head back to District 12 and go straight to Greasy Sae's to drop off some of the game, she thanks me and I give her little grand daughter a hug and chat for a while.

I'm considering going straight home but I find myself heading towards the bakery. It's warm today and people are rushing to get into the shade in town. I spot Delly sitting outside the bakery and walk over to join her.

"Hey Katniss!" She's always so pleasant and happy. It could get irritating but Delly is actually one of the most genuine people I have come to know.

"Hey Delly, how are you?" I ask politely.

"I'm trying to read these boring books on finances that Sascha left. I figured I could maybe help Peeta a bit."

"I'm sure he would appreciate it."

"He's inside with Thom," she informs me but I'm happy to sit here and talk to her.

"Thom huh?" I say, giving her a look.

Thom and Peeta emerge from the store shirtless and sweaty.

"Now I see why you are happy to help." I tease her.

She shushes me under her breath as Thom greets me.

"How was the hunt?" Peeta asks, once again there's that awkward lingering like we should embrace or something.

"Productive," I tell him, indicating to my bag, "I caught a deer, it was small, Greasy Sae she said she will bring over some steaks later."

"You should join us," says Peeta to Thom and Delly.

Thom and Delly agree to visit after 6 for dinner. Peeta and Thom have more sacks of flour to take into the bakery so I sit back with Delly and discuss topics which are generally of no interest to me.

Gossip, the new clothing shops rumoured to be opening, the possibility of even a shoe shop. I watch Peeta flex his muscles and lift the bags over his shoulder as easily as he lifted me yesterday. His shoulders and chest are shiney with sweat. I find that I quite enjoy looking which is stupid because I would never have considered behaving like such a lust filled girl in the past.

Delly snaps me back to reality when she says, "So I heard Peeta asked you to move in with him."

"What? Oh. Did he tell you that?"

"He mentioned it this morning, he seems very happy lately."

I feel slightly uneasy, what else has he told her.

"I'm considering it." I say, not sure how else to engage in this conversation.

"Everyone already thinks you live there anyway." She says. I almost snap at her that it's no one else's business but I quickly remember that Delly has known Peeta for years, of course he must tell her some things. I hope again that it's just some things.

Peeta comes back outside and sits with us on out makeshift crate seats, he's drinking from a bottle of water and offers me some, I take a swig and hand him back the bottle. He has put his shirt back on and it's clinging to his body.

"You need a shower," I tell him, elbowing him gently in the ribs.

"This is how real men smell Katniss." He grins.

Before I can retort a familiar figure in silk arrives interrupting us.

"Peeta! You look like you have been working hard." She says pointing out the obvious. Peeta stands and greets her. Damn him for always being the polite and friendly one.

They talk about how things are getting on with the bakery.

"We should be opening soon." He tells her.

"Oh we must celebrate together! You should come to my place, we can have drinks." She touches his arm, flirting again.

I suddenly stand and take Peeta's hand, leaning into him. I'm being jealous again, marking my territory. This time I don't care.

"We'd love to." I tell her, I put on the fake smile I used so many times during Cesar's interviews in the Capitol. Sensing my lead Peeta puts his arm around my waist.

"Yes of course, Katniss should come along too." She says, her voice implying that's exactly not what Katniss should do.

"We should make it a party," I say, " I'm sure Delly and Thom would love to join us, there's such little opportunity for gatherings lately." Sascha looks horrified and I feel pleased with myself though slightly sorry for her.

"I'll get back to you on the details," she says, though from her tone I think it is unlikely we will hear anything further about celebrating again.

Sascha makes her excuses to leave and heads off further into town. I don't let go of Peeta's hand when she leaves, I feel him squeeze my hand gently.


	7. Chapter 7

Peeta...

I can't concentrate much lately. Not because of my flashbacks or episodes, because Katniss has awoken some carnal desire within me. It's taking over. Of course I thought about sex before, a lot. But then it seemed like a pipe dream and something far from reality that I could push the thoughts from my mind. Those nights on the train were as close as I thought I would ever get. I didn't want anyone else.

Now I can't stop noticing her body, the curve of her hips, how she licks her lips, tucks loose strands behind her ear...I'd noticed it all before, a million times or more but now I ache with possibility.

The door goes, must be Delly or Thom. I wanted to thank them and I also wanted this house to have some life in it. Maybe we could grasp some sort of normalcy. Katniss bounds downstairs, she's wearing a dress and I'm surprised. She also has her hair pinned up. Can't wait to let it fall loose later.

I need to focus. Delly enters and greets us both and I invite her to sit at the table. I also partly wanted to give Delly a hand with Thom. She likes the guy but he hasn't made a move and I know she's too shy.

Katniss grabs a basket of bread rolls and places it on the table.

"Maybe we should have invited Haymitch?" She asks.

"There's no liquor here, he would have declined. I've already taken dinner over."

I wanted tonight to be civilised and fun, if Haymitch got too drunk his usual sarcasm turned to aggression and Katniss would often antagonise him. They are too much alike sometimes.

Thom arrives and we have a nice dinner. He tells us about the people he met in District 13 and we discuss mutual acquaintances. I throw in comments for Delly to involve her in the conversations, she looks like she could hug me. Even Katniss appears to be enjoying herself and around the time for desert, I feel her hand under the table take mine. It surprises me at times, how she can go from denying that we have anything to days like today where she took my hand in town and this gesture under the table. Although I know jealousy mostly spurred her on earlier, I didn't care.

Thom tells us about a guy who lived in District 10 who told him about the livestock they kept there on farms. He's considering starting his own cattle herd or something. He also talks about how they use domesticated dogs to herd the animals. He said they could be trained. I remember in a book for school we read about dogs being trained to hunt, I wonder if this would be a solution to Katniss issue with the woods. No one really kept pets before the war. Some caught a few song birds and of course Prim had Buttercup, but mostly people were so starving that animals were only a potential food source. Well we could afford the extra mouth to feed now. I make a note to check with Haymitch if he has any contacts in District 10.

After desert is over Thom announces he needs to get going. I suggest he walks Delly home, for safety reasons of course. Thom agrees and they leave, Delly looks like all her birthdays arrived at once.

Katniss and I clean the kitchen and feed the cat.

"You look really pretty tonight." I tell her.

"Only because this dress covers the scars."

"Your scars are beautiful." I tell her. I mean it, every scar she has signifies what we have been through to get where we are now.

She puts her arms around me and plants a kiss on my cheek. My minds starting to wander again, wonder how she would react if I push her against the wall and slide my hands up her thighs, hitching up her dress...As if sensing my thoughts Katniss gently taps my cheek.

"I'm going to bed." She announces.

I lock the door and head upstairs behind her.

Katniss doesn't let me touch anything other than her breasts again that night, I'm happy to oblige. She does explore my body with her hands though and again I come apart in her hand. After she cleans me up, she leans forward and kisses her way up my stomach and over my chest. Onto my neck where she lingers, kissing the hollow softly. I wonder how long it will take before she lets me touch her in this way. She falls asleep and I lie there wondering how to make her want me to touch her. Soon I fall asleep, no nightmares come but I dream of Katniss whispering into my ear.

For the next few weeks I am so busy with the bakery opening I don't have much time to think about seducing Katniss. She helps with stock checks and sometimes counts the money for me at the end of the day. When we get home we are both so tired we fall asleep instantly.

I had decided to hire two part time staff to cover some shifts, particularly a Saturday. Then I could spend more time with Katniss. I still rose early so she wouldn't notice me slip out this morning. She's sound asleep as I slip on my prosthetic, I head downstairs and dress quickly. There's a train getting in at 6 and I have something to collect.

The train hasn't arrived when I get to the station so I sit on a bench and wait. Vartan, one of the station crew comes over to chat and before I know it the train arrives.

The station crew begin to offload the cargo and sort it. As a favor, Vartan lets me leave with my crate instead of waiting on it to be processed. I sign the papers quickly and head back home. I want to be there before she wakes.

When I enter the house I listen carefully to see if she's up. When I don't hear a sound I try to be as quiet as I possibly can, taking the crate upstairs. It's not too large but the contents may be noisy. When I get to the bedroom I see Katniss still asleep. I prise the crate open in the hallway and look inside at the tiny puppy cowering within a blanket. "Hey little guy," I whisper. He's chocolate brown in color and I have to admit, cute as hell. I I lift him and he whimpers slightly, probably confused as to what the hell has just happened to him. I carry him to the bed and put him down. He sniffs around at the bottom of the bed first then decides it's safe, he begins to climb up over Katniss toward her face. I watch in amusement.

He's pressed against her chest and sniffing her neck. Katniss stirs, the pup begins to lick her.

"Peeta, fuck off it's too early." She complains. I can't help myself I burst out laughing as she opens her eyes to the little brown fluff ball licking her nose.

"What the...Peeta?"

"I thought you could use a new hunting partner." I say.

She's still confused from being roused from sleep. Katniss puts her hand out to the puppy and he licks it.

"He'll chase away all the game." She half complains.

"Not if you train him. He's called a Labrador retriever, they used to be known as gun dogs." I'm glad I did my homework.

"I don't know how to train him." She protests.

"I have some books you can use as a guide." I tell her.

She scratches the dog behind the ears. He leans into her clearly enjoying it.

"Peeta?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

I only ever want to make you happy, I think to myself. I kick my shoes off and lie in bed beside them while we debate names.

Katniss devotes herself to training the puppy. I was a little nervous as to how she would react at my replacement for Gale but she accepted it easier than I thought. We name the puppy Wren and spend the first few weeks trying to toilet train him.

"Katniss! He's peed on my prosthetic and in my shoe!" I yell.

She's howling with laughter at this, I'm starting to regret getting him.

She's been taking him out to the woods every day on a leash.

"I think I'm going to let him off today," she says.

"You are confident he will come back?"

"He's doing well, he responds to all the commands I have taught him. You should come with us, we'll go to the lake and he can swim."

I have today off. "Sounds good," I say giving her a kiss.

I pack us some food and grab some extra bread for Haymitch.

Katniss waits outside for me while I go to check he's still alive.

Haymitch is actually up and frying some eggs when I enter. The house is a mess. I should look into getting him another housekeeper.

"I brought you some bread." I tell him.

"Ah good I'm starving."

Wren starts barking outside, presumably at the geese. Took us a few weeks to get him to stop chasing them around.

Haymitch looks out of the window and sees Katniss waiting for me.

"Look at you two, living together and now with a baby."

"About as close as I'm going to get." And I mean it because Katniss doesn't want kids and she still won't let me touch her.

"Well you have persisted this long, won't kill you to wait a bit longer. God knows how it hasn't by now."

I suspect Haymitch knows we are not having sex. I don't think I want to talk to him about this anyway.

"Well we are off to the woods for today, be back with dinner."

I leave and when Wren sees me he strains on his leash to get to me.

Katniss commands him to sit and he does.

"Separation anxiety I think."

"You or him?" I joke.

She rolls her eyes at me and we begin our hike out into the forest.

When we are far enough out Katniss let's Wren off his leash and he runs off. We both wait to see if he returns, we find that when he can't see us behind him he runs back. Eventually we descend through the trees and I can see the lake In the distance. There's a small beach area that Katniss leads us to and we sit and rest as I take in the beauty of it.

"It's beautiful here."

"Yeah, my dad and I spent a lot of time here. I love it."

Wren bounds off to the water and finds himself a stick. He runs toward us and flops down at Katniss feet and begins to chew. She leans back to bask in the sun, she looks beautiful too.

We have something to eat and drink then Katniss suggests we have a swim. I'm a terrible swimmer, there were never any opportunities for me to learn.

"Relax Peeta, I won't let you drown." She starts to remove her shirt and my heart starts pumping in my chest. She's in her underwear and running down to the water. I hastily remove my clothes too. Wren is already bounding after her into the water.

I stand with my feet in the water, unsure of it.

"C'mon!" She splashes me. I go further out and splash her back, I'm up to my shoulders and I can still feel the ground beneath me. This feels okay.

Katniss swims farther away, showing off.

"Unfair advantage Katniss!" I exclaim. I try to follow her farther out but I end up lingering, floating slightly in the shallows. Katniss dives and doesn't reemerge. I feel something tickle my leg, I jump. Katniss breaks from the water laughing. She leans forward to kiss me and I grab her hungrily. I can't help but notice her nipples through her wet bra. My hands slide up and down her back then grab her breasts, teasing her nipples. She sighs against my lips and I slide my hands to her back and unclasp the hook of her bra.

"Peeta what are you doing?" She asks.

"Getting closer." I peel the wet bra off and throw it away then bring her lips back to mine. Her chest rises and her breasts make contact with skin. I kiss my way down her neck and over her collarbone, I knead her breasts before grabbing one and taking it into my mouth. She gasps as I gently nibble on it and stroke the pointed tips with my tongue. She pulls my head closer to her, stroking my hair. The short gasps she makes sound so good, I can feel myself getting hard. I lift her up so that she can put her legs around my waist. I position her so she's just settled around my crotch. I push my hips into her as she kisses me, the fabric of my underwear meeting hers. She's grinding herself into me and it feels so unbelievably good. I get so caught up that i accidentally lose my footing and we both tumble into the water. We emerge laughing.

"Peeta, where is my bra?"

I don't care, gone I hope. "No idea, floating away farther out maybe."

Wren is back on the shore lying lazily in the sun. We head back and grab our clothes and the bag. To my disappointment Katniss puts her shirt back on.

I'm aching to be touched and in my wet underwear it's impossible not to notice the protruding erection.

"Come, I want to show you something." She says, taking my hand and leading me along the banks of the lake.

I follow with Wren not far behind. She leads me to a small ruin of a house, probably an old cottage. We go inside and there are the remnants of an old fire and some animal bones. The roof has deteriorated and you can see parts of the blue sky above. Katniss lays a blanket out from the bag and tethers Wren by his leash at the door. He whines but lies down.

"When I was a kid I used to dream that I lived here."

"You are probably the only kid to have been here in years."

"Yeah probably. I used to play and pretend it was my fortress...I met two women from District 8 out here, they were on the run to thirteen. Bonnie and Twill. I don't think they made it as I never saw them again." She says sadly.

We sit on the blanket and I reach up to push strands of her hair back. Katniss memories like mine always seem to be mixed, something good with the bad.

I pull her towards me and kiss her. "I love you." I tell her, because it's true and I need to say it out loud. She doesn't answer but her kisses become more desperate. My hands run all over her body, I whisper in her ear, "Katniss, relax."

I trail my finger down her stomach and over her underwear. They are damp from the lake anyway. I tease her gently through the fabric. It feels soft and warm, when she inhales deeply I push one hand inside and stroke long lengths across her folds.

"Do you want me to stop?" I ask. She's arching her back, I hope she says no.

"No." She breathes out. I tease her gently using her soft moans and sighs to guide me. I can feel her slit becoming wet under my fingertips and I gently slide one into her folds to test. She groans and I grin slipping in another finger, curling them and gently sliding in and out. She feels so good and I want to know how she will feel around my cock but not today. Today I'm satisfied that I got this far. I slip in a third finger and increase my speed. She's pushing her hips forward inviting me to go deeper, I push in further gently. I can't believe how wet she is. Wet for me. Her hands come up to her breasts and she strokes and squeezes them. My cock twitches. I use my thumb to rub her outer lips, trying different things. Suddenly she lets out a husky groan. I think I may have find the spot she likes. I keep going until I feel her tighten and shudder around my fingers. I'm pleased with myself, I managed to give Katniss an orgasm for the first time. I take my hand out and lick my fingers, she watches me. "You taste good," I tell her.

I bring myself back up to meet her lips. I feel Katniss hand straying down to the bulge in my pants and slide beneath the waistband. She gets me off with long slow strokes of her hand, it doesn't take long. My body is so excited by what just happened. Afterwards I hold Katniss. Being initimate together is becoming more frequent.

"How do you feel?" I ask her.

"Totally relaxed," she replies stretching her legs.

We lie for a while longer before Katniss suggests we swim before heading home. Out here, Katniss seems so alive. In her element. I wonder what will become of the lake as District 12 expands and more people discover that it's here.


End file.
